People are Panicky and Stupid and You Know it!

It's sad but most people only look at themselves and/or what directly affects them. America is in debt and has been for the LONGEST TIME! No one cared as much until it started to affect their own personal lives. America, as a whole, will never see the big picture. We will always be in debt because there will always be more people expecting to receive, than willing to give.
{I posted this personal opinion on my facebook wall and it got me in all sorts of trouble. And, as always, people thought the worst of me. Oops!}

I DO think that it's NOT right to just simply not pay our men and women who serve, however, that is not the case the government is trying to make... or, was trying to make. I am going to quote my military husband on this, just because he words it well:

“The troops won't be loosing any money. One of those cases where everyone believes something to be true because they fear it to be true. The last time the government shutdown, they didn't loose any pay. It is mostly a technical (software) issue, at this point. The only real concern is whether they will get a full paycheck on the 15th (which is what they are working on) or a half paycheck and a paycheck and a half on May 1st. The shutdown cuts operating costs, and a very select few paychecks. Those not getting paychecks, are also not working for the duration (I know a few guys at the local base that fall into that category, but they are so overpaid (and overworked) that they are looking forward to the time off. I don't even know how the troops even entered the shutdown debate, considering it was never suggested (except by a couple politicians who are adverse to the shutdown and fear monger for their cause) and never occurred in two previous shutdowns.”

This is what happens when people make a big deal about what directly affects them... Everyone panics, and it's silly. The government is trying to fix a huge problem the best way that they know how, with money(I don't like it either). Like I said, the money has to come from somewhere... it's just like when we all get 'kicker checks'. Of course, NO ONE complains about those, because everyone is fine with getting money from the 'broke' government. Does anyone even understand where that money comes from and how it works? Let's all whine and cry about how the government needs to change, but then not do a damn thing to help and/or accept that change without freaking the hell out.

You know, there are countries out there who would gladly accept someone as their citizen; countries who don't even have a military and/or are completely Socialist; everyone gets equal everything! In the U.S., idiots have been spending money on stupid and ridiculous things since well before I was born. This is how it is, and this is how it will always be unless people start allowing change to happen.

A Good Day for "Blah"

What I've done

In this farewell
There's no blood
There's no alibi
'Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies

So let mercy come
And wash away

What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands
Of uncertainty

So let mercy come
And wash away

What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

For what I've done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done

I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

-Linkin Park


Today, for some reason, I can't seem to fight this extreme feeling of humiliation... if it's even that. Every second feels like another freak-out or breakdown waiting to happen. I'm really starting to wonder what in the hell is going on with me. I'm acting in a way that I am COMPLETELY unfamiliar with. I don't want anyone to see me this way. I don't even want to see me this way; let alone BE this way. Bare with me, Self!

A Little More Than a Spaz...

I wish everyone was here to experience the magic and beauty flowing out of my stereo and blasting through the house! I'm a conductor; a guitarist; a drummer; a singer; a dancer and head-banger(all through the art of “air”)! I OWN this stage! I am unstoppable! Music is my vice...

\m/ (>.<) \m/

Resentful Displeasure or Not

Is one only considered to have good morals if they take resentful displeasure in the fact that others have different beliefs than them? What about people like me, who are easy-going and don't get offended by simple little things?

A few days ago, I had a woman tell me that she did not want to associate with someone who did not get offended by something they didn't believe in. I went on to tell her that it was silly to assume that people don't have any kind of morals if they don't get offended, and therefore, not wanting to be around them. This debate went on for awhile... I left off with saying something along the lines of: “Getting offended is selfish and somewhat narcissistic. No one should expect others to go out of their way to not offend someone.” At that point, she deleted the entire debate and here's what she said when I asked her why (As to not mention any names, we will call her Narcissa):

Narcissa - “lol...movin on lady movin on...hope you aren't offended-lol”

My Response - “Not offended, but how come you don't delete all of your posts to move on? I really wanted to show my husband our back and forth. I just see no reason for you to have deleted it.”

Narcissa - “Well it isn't your wall now is it...hahaha!!” { Wall, meaning on facebook}

My Response - “Everyone deletes my postings, I swear. Maybe I'm too pushy, or I make too much sense... whatever. I just think it's lame that you deleted it for no apparent reason.”

Narcissa- “Just call me the lamealotacus, stomp your foot a few times and get over it...would be silly to hold on to irritation or offense to a deleted post...hehe” {Oh yeah? Sounds like you're ready to Tango with Nicole... Let's go.}

My Response - “Oh, I see what you're trying to do. Why are you trying to offend me? So, that was your intention for deleting the post. I learn something new everyday... hmm. “

Narcissa- “Yes...upset is just one of the ways people show they are offended by actions or words...we ALL have our Achilles heel...I am an intelligent woman, but I am very sensitive...so when my feelings are hurt (which isn't hard to do at all) I am offended...but I gathered that you are more of a thinker than a feeler, so I took the opportunity to take away your need to reflect on a great debate...we can all learn from eachother...even those who vary greatly from our personality type...as long as there is respect...that was why I added you as a friend...that, and I think you may have issues with connecting with others on a deep emotional level-lol” {This bitch, “took the opportunity” to take away my need to reflect on a great debate? I'm still laughing at that one. “As long as there is respect.” Watch as I pull some respect right out of my ass...}

My Response-”Well, I wasn't offended that you deleted it. I just wanted to know why, and you wouldn't say directly, but it is now obvious that it was to get a reaction out of me. I NEVER said that I don't get offended. I'm also not a test subject, and don't need someone to treat me like a psych patient. Don't fuck with me! If you knew me at all, you would know how much of a feeler I actually am. I FEEL so much for other people, that I'm not quick to judge, and I definitely leave people to their own morals. Also, when I add friends, it's NOT because I want to teach them a lesson. Who the hell do you think you are? Also, go ahead and delete this so your precious friends can't read about you DISRESPECTING someone, just as you wouldn't like someone to do to you. You're right, we can all learn from each other. ANYONE who tries to find my "Achilles Heel," just to throw it in my face... IS NOT a friend. You should have taken your own advice from what you commented on MY wall post, which I didn't delete. I don't know what makes you think that you've got the right to play therapist. Friendship is NO game... even for "a thinker." { In short- Don't fuck with me!}

Some people need to actually practice what they preach. I usually never go on the offensive, but I will instinctively go on the DEFENSIVE when someone tries to fuck with my head. People can believe whatever they want to believe, without trying to drag others into it. I wish more people would be able to let others be who they are. But, I also understand that when someone is intentionally trying to upset someone else's well-being, certain defense mechanisms are going to kick in. Easy-going does NOT mean weak. It just means that you save your energy for worth while battles. Everyone has their own morals, and it's up to THEM to decide whether they are right or wrong; good or bad.

Poor Narcissa, the world will NEVER flip upside down for you. Be prepared to be offended for the rest of your precious little life!

The Whole Truth and Nothing But

The hardest part about being blunt and telling the truth is that I don't have many close friends. And the friends I do have, tend to shy away from telling me things, because they don't want to hear the plain truth. I can only say it nicely so many times. People need to get better about handling the truth, and not expect everyone to walk on eggshells around them. I would so much rather someone tell me that I'm being stupid(or whatever it is they think of me), upfront, than find out that they think I'm stupid, yet don't want to hurt my feelings. Just like any relationship, friendship isn't something to flake around with. I don't want fake nice people around me. I want REAL, honest people; people who don't aim to please.
At the same time, I understand how the truth can make people feel absolutely horrible about themselves... but wouldn't someone rather be the one friend who helps someone face the harsh truth, rather than the friend who sugar-coats everything, so the friendship stays in a happy little bubble?
Some people actually treat their love and marriage relationships like this. How can they live life so fake? That would eat me up inside...On another note, sticking with the truth is more depressing, I think. It sometimes fills me with so much hate, that I don't know what to do with myself. I can completely understand why someone would be crazy and would resort to any means to get away from pain like that. If I were to live my life by flooding myself with truth, I would have "off-ed" myself already. There is so much pain and suffering in truth... especially when you think about people in other countries(what ACTUALLY happens to them), Animal cruelty, pollution, etc... The truth about any of those things can bring even the strongest mind to its knees.
Maybe THAT'S the hardest part for me... Knowing that we HAVE to stray away from the truth sometimes... for sanity's sake. But, at the same time, the harsh truth can be an excellent way to encourage and/or motivate people to take action. I still want truth... even if it breaks me. It's REAL, and that's what I want to be.