Is one only considered to have good morals if they take resentful displeasure in the fact that others have different beliefs than them? What about people like me, who are easy-going and don't get offended by simple little things?
A few days ago, I had a woman tell me that she did not want to associate with someone who did not get offended by something they didn't believe in. I went on to tell her that it was silly to assume that people don't have any kind of morals if they don't get offended, and therefore, not wanting to be around them. This debate went on for awhile... I left off with saying something along the lines of: “Getting offended is selfish and somewhat narcissistic. No one should expect others to go out of their way to not offend someone.” At that point, she deleted the entire debate and here's what she said when I asked her why (As to not mention any names, we will call her Narcissa):
Narcissa - “lol...movin on lady movin on...hope you aren't offended-lol”
My Response - “Not offended, but how come you don't delete all of your posts to move on? I really wanted to show my husband our back and forth. I just see no reason for you to have deleted it.”
Narcissa - “Well it isn't your wall now is it...hahaha!!” { Wall, meaning on facebook}
My Response - “Everyone deletes my postings, I swear. Maybe I'm too pushy, or I make too much sense... whatever. I just think it's lame that you deleted it for no apparent reason.”
Narcissa- “Just call me the lamealotacus, stomp your foot a few times and get over it...would be silly to hold on to irritation or offense to a deleted post...hehe” {Oh yeah? Sounds like you're ready to Tango with Nicole... Let's go.}
My Response - “Oh, I see what you're trying to do. Why are you trying to offend me? So, that was your intention for deleting the post. I learn something new everyday... hmm. “
Narcissa- “Yes...upset is just one of the ways people show they are offended by actions or words...we ALL have our Achilles heel...I am an intelligent woman, but I am very sensitive...so when my feelings are hurt (which isn't hard to do at all) I am offended...but I gathered that you are more of a thinker than a feeler, so I took the opportunity to take away your need to reflect on a great debate...we can all learn from eachother...even those who vary greatly from our personality type...as long as there is respect...that was why I added you as a friend...that, and I think you may have issues with connecting with others on a deep emotional level-lol” {This bitch, “took the opportunity” to take away my need to reflect on a great debate? I'm still laughing at that one. “As long as there is respect.” Watch as I pull some respect right out of my ass...}
My Response-”Well, I wasn't offended that you deleted it. I just wanted to know why, and you wouldn't say directly, but it is now obvious that it was to get a reaction out of me. I NEVER said that I don't get offended. I'm also not a test subject, and don't need someone to treat me like a psych patient. Don't fuck with me! If you knew me at all, you would know how much of a feeler I actually am. I FEEL so much for other people, that I'm not quick to judge, and I definitely leave people to their own morals. Also, when I add friends, it's NOT because I want to teach them a lesson. Who the hell do you think you are? Also, go ahead and delete this so your precious friends can't read about you DISRESPECTING someone, just as you wouldn't like someone to do to you. You're right, we can all learn from each other. ANYONE who tries to find my "Achilles Heel," just to throw it in my face... IS NOT a friend. You should have taken your own advice from what you commented on MY wall post, which I didn't delete. I don't know what makes you think that you've got the right to play therapist. Friendship is NO game... even for "a thinker." { In short- Don't fuck with me!}
Some people need to actually practice what they preach. I usually never go on the offensive, but I will instinctively go on the DEFENSIVE when someone tries to fuck with my head. People can believe whatever they want to believe, without trying to drag others into it. I wish more people would be able to let others be who they are. But, I also understand that when someone is intentionally trying to upset someone else's well-being, certain defense mechanisms are going to kick in. Easy-going does NOT mean weak. It just means that you save your energy for worth while battles. Everyone has their own morals, and it's up to THEM to decide whether they are right or wrong; good or bad.
Poor Narcissa, the world will NEVER flip upside down for you. Be prepared to be offended for the rest of your precious little life!
That seems so familiar!!! I am taking a class on religion through the University of Phoenix, and holy shit do the religious people get offended a lot and flip out when you voice your opinion and it is different from theirs. I was told that I was disrespectful and rude when I expressed my opinion about religion. WTF?!?!?! I certainly do not get offended when someone else expresses their opinion about religion! It seems that religious people get offended as a defense mechanism to maintain their delusion... on a subconscious level, they must know that it is all just make believe.
ReplyDeleteTHIS seems VERY familiar to me too!! It's like I KNOW Narcissa! ;-)
ReplyDeleteShe definitely not the only one to do this. Religious people want to save anyone that isn't like them. Anything different than their doctrine is immoral.. frustrating. It's especially frustrating when they take you on as their personal project and obviously fail to acknowledge that you don't feel you need fixing or changing, at least not the way they want to do it. Peace is in acceptance, not in a book of morals and expectations. hugs!!
Holy Hell! People actually read my blog? Ha!
ReplyDeleteIt's very hard for me to express my thoughts on religion without saying how dumb it is to believe in certain things. Religious people get offended even if you're nice about it. How is it rude simply believe in something else? ESPECIALLY if that something else is backed up by Scientific facts and Physical evidence... not the gecko and his plates, or Moses and his tablets and written garbage like that.
"I'm offended because you believe in things that you can actually see and touch. I'm offended because you don't have mere faith that a 'higher power' exists."
Most of them really aren't secure enough in their own beliefs... that's why they feel the need to defend themselves when they aren't being attacked. They feel vulnerable without their hopes and prayers.
Have faith, if that's what you need, but stand by it strongly and proud. Then, there is no need to fight for it.
Ha! I don't need those religious nuts thinking that I'm nice, anyway.